His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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