i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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