YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Drake has all the answers
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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