I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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