Sry I called you an 8
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
