Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
