i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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