But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
