Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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