dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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