wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
