hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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