if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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