You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
