Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
