he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Send help, water and tortillas.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
