so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
