I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
