are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
