Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
