Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
