Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
