You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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