No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
