How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize