is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
