I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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