He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
