dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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