I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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