everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
