Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
