It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
