the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
smell my finger.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
