So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
