i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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