11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
