My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
