I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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