he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize