4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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