two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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