32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
