Man, jail baloney is awful.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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