just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
