You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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