think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
