hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
