I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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