hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
