Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize