Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
