Moan for me like Helen Keller
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize