put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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