i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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