I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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