my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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