is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
